YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

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Hopes are dashed for the screenwriting contribution of Judd Apatow to elevate Adam Sandler as a poor man’s Groucho Marx in this poorly executed comedy about an Israeli assassin-turned-hair-stylist.

Zohan feigns his own death during an assassination mission in order to escape to New York where he plans to become an instantly successful hair stylist for Paul Mitchell in spite of his lack of professional training.

Zohan renames himself "Scrappy Coco" and is instead relegated to working as a hair-sweeper for Palestinian beauty Dalia (played by Emmanuelle Chriqui) at her neighborhood hair salon in an ethnically mixed area made up of Israelis and Palestinians.

Scrappy Coco speeds up his apprenticeship by giving special backroom attention to the salon’s elderly female clientele. But Zohan’s secret past-life comes back to haunt him when his Palestinian antagonist, the Phantom (played by John Turturro) arrives in New York to open a chain of fast food restaurants.

Inept jokes, incompetent sight gags, and a lack of comic timing make this comedy limp as a wet noodle.

Rated PG-13. 113 mins.